(Mis)adventures in Homeschooling

I love my son more than anything on the planet, so much so that I pulled him out of public school in March of last year.  He has always struggled a bit in school; he was a reluctant reader, and he always had trouble recalling things that he learned at school.  All of his teachers had been very proactive and up front with me; then he got to grade 3.  His teacher was matter-of-fact and generous to the students, however, she was not what I would call approachable.  Whenever I had questions regarding Kyle's progress, she would become very defensive, as if I was calling her teaching style into question. For the first part of the year, I would shrug it off as growing pains, adjusting to a new teacher, or me misreading the signs.  However, as the year progressed, I noticed she was not in class on many days; she was in training or doing something for the district (I'm sure the new common core rules had something to do with it).  In addition, when I would be frustrated with how information was disseminated, she would take it VERY personally, and sent me many messages telling me everything she did on the back end to improve the curriculum.   Now I appreciate all the hard work teachers do; for crying out loud, I am the child of a teacher!  However, I felt like she never "heard" me; she was always defending her position, rather than try to communicate with me as to how to make my child's time in class a richer, more positive experience.

This particular year, the school abolished all homework.  They wanted all the learning to be done in the classroom, because their studies showed that the kids were getting burnt out.  Because Kyle is a daydreamer, I asked her to please provide me with the coursework she was doing with the kids this year.  She flatly refused, reiterating that they did not want the kids doing ANY schoolwork at home.  This was frustrating to me, because we always had to do a bit of "re-learning" at home due to Kyle's attention span and propensity to daydream.  He would often drift off in class, and have no idea what they were doing.  I advised her of his tendencies, and she stated that she had it under control and she would have no trouble redirecting him when he got distracted.

Which leads me to the spring of 2015.  It was parent-teacher conference time.  Stephen and I had conflicting work schedules, and I had asked her if we could do a tele-conference or something of that nature.  She wanted to do it in person, because she wanted to be able to have the reading specialist there to discuss his reading progress (he had been going to her for 2 years).  So Stephen and I re-arranged our schedules to accommodate her request.  On the day in question, we showed up at Kyle's classroom; she stated we would be meeting in the library, which I thought was odd.  I kept seeing all of these signs that said "Student Success Team" Meetings, and I started to get a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach.  We were on our way to the library and my skin literally started crawling.  Like, I felt like we were about to get ambushed.  I looked at Stephen, and said, "You are going to have to do all the talking.  I feel like we are being set up."  He looked at me quizzically, and said, "OK. Don't worry about it."

We got into the library, and we were met by a GROUP of people.  Kyle's teacher, the reading specialist, the special needs teacher, two school psychologists, one district psychologist and the principal of the school.  This was incredibly overwhelming and intimidating.  We had no idea this was going to be a team meeting.  We had done one before, when he was in grade 1, and we had a meeting with his teacher, the reading specialist, and the principal.  We were properly informed by his teacher that the meeting was to take place, and gave us an agenda as to what we would discuss.  At this particular meeting, at no time did his teacher ever tell us what we were walking into.  In essence, Kyle was under-performing in school.  He was always tired, had headaches, and was often day dreaming and lacked focus.  However, Kyle wasn't doing so terrible that he had to be placed in remedial classes, nor was he eligible to be held back.  Stephen asked what they could offer as far as assistance went.  They said those were the only options and he did not qualify for either of those.  But, we needed to reinforce what he was learning at home!  (Did I mention I had asked for a syllabus at the beginning of the term????)  Because obviously the problem was that we did not take an active role in his education.

I never had any idea I was going to be grilled by a panel of idiots who were trying to discern what the problem was at home (i.e. their supposed reason Kyle wasn't succeeding at school, because it couldn't have been a MAJOR shift in their teaching style that confused little minds).  It was horrible.  They all but accused us of cheating, doing his work for him, not giving him a nutritional diet, or exercise.  I did absolutely no talking in the meeting, because I was furious.  I just sat there as the angriest of tears streamed down my face.  For if I were to say or do anything, it would have been to reach across the table and strangle his teacher.  I am a peaceful person, and I can find many justifications for these types of behaviors, but I have never felt vilified before.  And I could see that his teacher did not want to take ANY responsibility for allowing this situation to deteriorate.

Within a week, we made the decision to pull him out of school.  I quit my job, enrolled him in K12, and began our journey of homeschooling.  Little did I know what I was getting myself into.  Kyle does struggle a lot with schoolwork.  He is almost completely undisciplined.  I wonder how much time we lost in grade 3, with all of the shenanigans that went on. Some of the challenges that I learned right away...

1.  Kyle's propensity to daydream is off the charts.  I found that if he is left to work independently, he will stare into space for hours.
2.  His reading is very staccato.  He doesn't try to sound out words.  He looks at the first few letters and tries to guess.
3.  He is like Teflon. Things don't stick. If he doesn't have a vested interest in a subject, all he hears is "blah, blah, blah."
4.  He never learned his times tables.  Common Core did not focus on the rote learning of the times tables.  The kids were given a chart to refer to for everything and were not required to memorize them. (See #3).
5.  He is super creative.  He makes up fantastic stories, which would make great papers, if he were disciplined enough to write.
6.  He hates cursive writing, and has a VERY hard time making the letters.
7.  He loves to draw, but has not progressed beyond stick figures.
8..  He cannot concentrate for long periods of time.

We figured out a routine, and got him through grade 3.  I love teaching him, and I love how much time I get to spend with him, how much I learn about him.  The tougher things to navigate are how to help him succeed when it seems all hope is lost. Now that we are in grade 4, things have become increasingly difficult for him.  Math is getting harder, and I feel he hasn't learned the basics.  So we are trying to figure out how to go back and re-learn some things while still trying to stay ahead of the coursework.

Kyle and I are a team.  I try every day to make sure he learns in a supportive environment.  Having said that, lately I have been having trouble keeping my cool when he doesn't want to do the work.  I have been pro-active and posted school rules, and we have a point system for rewards and punishments.  Lately, however, his frustration level is really high, and I am starting to feed off of his negative energy.  We are so close to one another, that I really feel his frustration. I have to admit that I am struggling to keep it together, and this week has been particularly unsuccessful. I have yelled at him like I never thought I would, and the resulting guilt I feel is massive.  I need to step back and take a look at how to make things more positive, like when we first started.  I think we are in a rut, and we need to find a better way.  I know we can do it.  One of our rules is to have a "CAN DO" approach, and I need to find that "CAN DO" spirit, in the face of wanting to slit my wrists....arrgh!!!


Thank God It's Friday!!

Anniversary...not so happy.

It’s nearing the first anniversary of my father’s death, and the third of my mother.  I think about them constantly and reflect a lot these days, which has pretty much led me to wrestle with a profound state of depression.  It’s like I feel lost.  I have the most wonderful husband and son…my family means the world to me, but it’s like their love and my love for them doesn’t fill me as it should.  That sounds crazy, I know.  However, I think I am subconsciously allowing the void of my parents’ deaths to remain in the primary bubble where I exist, shutting out everything else.  I have to really deal with their passing, but I just can’t get there.  I’m inside my head too much, and it’s beginning to take its toll on me mentally, and by extension, physically…It’s hard to get out of bed each day and TCB, which is NOT like me.  So I decided that I need to write down what I’m feeling and just get it out.  Therapy is a great option, but I can’t even speak about my feelings without crying, so why waste $$ if all I can do is sit and cry for 55 minutes.  Hopefully this will act as a catharsis for me to be able to identify my feelings, own them, talk about them, and DEAL with them.

Presently, I’m listening to “Harvest Moon” by Neil Young, which for some reason triggers for me a very specific time in my life with just me and my mom and dad; the three of us.  I was living in San Diego, and my Dad was attending a teacher’s conference in Los Angeles & Mom came with him.  We decided to meet in LA, and mom & I thought we’d do some touristy things while Dad was seminar-ing.  The highlight of the experience for my Dad was meeting Telly Savalas (who loves ya baby), Kojak himself, in of all places, the men’s room of the hotel where we were staying.  I’d never seen Dad star-struck before, and he was so giddy…hysterical about the meeting place.  Anyway, the point to my story is that after Dad’s conference, I had some time off to go north for a few days, then fly back home, so I drove with them back up to the bay area.  One of the things about my folks is that they weren’t really wanderers, but they loved to go for drives, not to see where the road took them, but to plan out a route, then go for it.  I am more of a meanderer, whimsical, spontaneous kinda gal.   

So we’re driving along the freeway, and we are nearing the Ventura Highway, and I asked them, “Ever been to SOLVANG?”  I knew this would pique their curiosity, as I knew Mom would just love it; Dad being an avid reader like me, had just finished a Dean Koontz book that took place there.  So I actually talked my parents into taking a detour on the fly, as we were driving.   

Little did I know that this would push Dad out of his comfort zone.  He would study maps BEFORE driving, so he could envision the trip.  Mom & I were chatting away, listening to the radio (Harvest Moon) and all of a sudden I felt cold – REALLY cold.  I noticed my mom had put on her sweater.  

“Are you cold mom?” I asked.  She shot me a sideways glance & motioned to my father.  

“Dad, could you turn down the A/C?  We’re freezing!” 

Well, in typical Phil fashion, here is the answer we received:  “NO.  I am driving this car.  And the DRIVER makes the decisions.  I will NOT turn down the A/C.”  

“Seriously? Look at Mom, she’s nearly shivering!”  

Dad replied, “The DAMN DRIVER takes precedence.  THE DRIVER needs to be comfortable.  I’m the DRIVER of this car!”

“What do you suggest?  It’s the middle of summer and I didn’t bring a jacket!”

“Not my problem.  It’s the DRIVER’s prerogative. I control the A/C.”

Mom & I just started laughing hysterically, at the absurdity of it all, which only served to piss my Dad off further.  

I said, “OK, the DRIVER has spoken!  I’ll just sit back here.  And if my lips turn blue, would someone do me the courtesy of giving me CPR?”  I remember there was a pillow in the back seat, and I pulled the pillowcase over my legs like a sleeping bag, and, since the driver proclaimed it was his prerogative (to serve his guests chilled), I bundled up with the pillow.

Looking back on this, I understand that my Dad was driving on an unfamiliar road, which happened to have lots of twists and turns, and he was really not comfortable as he had not studied a map of where we were headed.  He was probably sweating, which is why he wanted the air on.  But my Dad was not one to ever admit weakness, even if it risked him looking like an asshole.  I think I was one of the few people on this earth who really understood him and that’s why I could tell him to shove it one minute, and love him immensely the next. 

By the time we got to Solvang, the joy had really gone out of the experience…but we managed to pull it together and eat some pastries and see the sights. 

Wow.  That did make me feel better.

Miss you Mom & Dad.

XOXO

Philip Liston Romer

November 17, 1934 – August 13, 2011

Janis Annette (Lott) Romer

August 31, 1937 – November 12, 2009

Cross Country Blog CA to FL – REPOST FROM FEBRUARY 2008

Cross Country Blog – REPOST FROM FEBRUARY 2008

Feb 5, 2008

California really didn’t want to let us go, or why I hate Highways 99 and 58-Move to FL Part 1

Where do I even begin with this adventure? I swear you won't believe it - but you can't make this crap up. On Day zero, we were packing up the house and cleaning it - we were about a day behind schedule because we had to get a larger moving truck. Anyways, we were trying to clean the house and load the truck in the rain, trying to get out of Dodge by 3pm to get to Mom & Dad's for our going away dinner. Well, 3pm turned into 4, 5, 6, there is no light left and Stephen and I are getting the trailer hooked up to the U-Haul while freezing our butts off. We finally get all we can done, then High-tail it to Lyon's to give Elisa back the keys to the house. We had a very teary goodbye, and I felt so bad that we weren't able to get the house as clean as I would have liked and the lawn mowed and the last dump run, so I wrote her a check that she tried not to accept, but I wouldn't have any of it. Then we drive down to Benicia in the pouring rain - I swear it was so thick we could barely see the road. So we unpack the frozen food and stuff out of our pantry and stuff we had borrowed and came in to a wonderful feast of Lasagna. Kyle was so cute - he had a great last day with his Grandparents, Auntie Di and Uncle Pauly. Time was getting away from us, so we had to make our goodbyes short and sweet, and off to the hotel we went at around 11pm. We were way behind schedule and Stephen said, there was no way he could wake up at 3am, so we decided we would wake up at 6. Well, the next morning, I don't know if the alarm didn't go off or Lamont (either me or Stephen, depending on which big dummy did the thing) hit the snooze/off button. We wake up late, and get out of Dodge at about 8am. Dad gave me his AAA road atlas and he and I discussed alternate routes to get down south. I decided to skip I-5 entirely and go 99 to 58 and either down 15 to 10 or 40 to 95 to get to Blythe. Paul re-hooked up the trailer hitch for us and sent us on our way. So we get on the road and everything is going OK, but Stephen remembers that he forgot to pick up walkie-talkies - so we decide to stop in Modesto to get them. We exit the freeway to Best Buy and I notice it does not open until 11. So, we trudge onward. We are just barely keeping ahead of the rain at this point, then by the time we get to Fresno, or for what I will now and forever refer to it as, the Armpit of California - A.C. for short (yes, pronounced ass), it begins horking down rain. Now we have been on the road for about 4 hours at this point, and on a Sunday in Fresno, when you are looking for things open along the highway, be forewarned that you won't find much. We were driving around looking like iditos, and I was dying to use the restroom and Stephen was really running low on gas, so we see a shell station and go fill up. I run in, get drenched walking into the mini-mart, only to find out that "No-No, miss, no bathroom" I asked where the nearest one was and the guy points to the Burger King across the street. Stephen saw a radio shack a couple of blocks up, but was worried because the U-Haul and trailer had to be backed out awkwardly and he didn't think he could fit in the parking lot. I said I would stay with the truck and Kyle and he could take my Volvo to the Radio Shack and get the walkie-talkies. This exchange between the two of us was basically screaming at each other while we were both getting wetter and wetter by the minute. Now if you know us at all, you know we don't fight at all. All the stress of the last month and getting everything situated was starting to take its toll. So Stephen takes my car and I try to get my chubby butt up into the 26 foot truck...with a sidestep and handle bar...and a full bladder...in the cold, pouring rain. You see where I'm going with this. All of a sudden things got a lot wetter. So there I am on the step basically peeing on myself, and I am on the verge of tears when I look over to my son who is giggling at the sight of me trying to grab the handle bar and the steering wheel to get up in the truck, and we start laughing hysterically. Stephen gets back and I told him what happened, and we all had a good laugh. Ok, we re-centered, I changed my clothes, and we get back on the road. 

About 5 minutes later, we are talking on the walkie-talkies, and Stephen says, "Hang on honey, there's a trucker flagging me down, something's wrong. I'm about 5 minutes ahead of him at this point, so I ask him should I come back and he says, "just pull off at the next off-ramp and I'll give you a SIT-REP in 5 minutes". So he gets back on the walkie-talkie and proceeds to tell me that the trailer has completely come off the hitch and the only thing holding the trailer together is the two metal chains that grip into the back door of the U-Haul. He and the trucker get the hitch back on, but some things have broken on the trailer. So they patch it up as best we can, Stephen and I decide to go up the road to get something to eat and I notice either smoke or water pooling up off the back of the trailer, we decide we need to call U-Haul for roadside assistance. We see the Black Bear Diner and decide to stop there...

 ...but you can't get there from our side of the road - you have to either make a U-turn or if you are in a big U-Haul, you need to make a left, left, and left. So, Stephen goes to make a left, and all I hear is a loud "BANG" and smoke...Stephen blew a tire while making his first left. So we go down a residential street that has an alley running along the freeway which is right behind the diner. We call U-Haul, they say they will send someone out, we go have lunch and Stephen and I get in the front of the Volvo, crank the heat on high, and Kyle sits in the back to watch "Finding Nemo" until the mechanic arrives. 

The guy gets there, fixes the trailer and the hitch, helps re-secure the load and sends us on our merry way. With great trepidation, we proceed. We started off the day 5 hours behind schedule, then spent another 2-1/2 in Fresno, the A.C. (yes, pronounced ass). So we are now 7.5 hours behind schedule, and we need to get to the CA AZ border to make our first pit stop. The problem is we are still in the middle of the Central Valley. Because the Grapevine had been closed so many days within the last 2 weeks, we decided we were not going that way. So we head over the Tehachapi Mts. which has a lower summit. The rain has let up a bit and we actually make good time on 58, until we get about halfway up the mountain. It was sprinkling, then the sprinkles turned to a light dusting of snow.

 Then all of a sudden I notice that there are no cars in front of me and all other cars are behind me in the right hand lane. Then the snow turns to hail and it starts coming down in buckets. The wind is so harsh over the mountain that the hail is blowing sideways across the highway, and you can't see 5 feet in front of you...and I'm the lead car of this caravan!! 

Stephen, who is well-familiar with driving in the snow, is on the walkie-talkie, coaching me over the mountain, telling me how to keep my speed down and not skid, when we finally meet up with the CHP who gives us an escort off the mountain. 

5 minutes later, they completely close 58 in both directions. We decided not to go over the Cajon pass, that we would be better off going through Barstow to I-40. We only make it to Needles, when it is 1am and we are just beat. We stop to have something to eat at Denny's and afterward, we decide to find a motel room there. Stephen forgot his walkie-talkie at the restaurant, and while I was getting the motel room, he misjudged the steep grade to get into the parking lot of Denny's and gauged the trailer into the asphalt and could not get it out.

 It is now nearing 2am, and we had to call yet another tow-truck to help us out. Kyle and I went to the room to get some sleep, and poor Stephen had to deal with this on his own. I have NEVER in my life seen him rattled, but when he got back to the room, he threw his keys and wallet against the wall and cursed up a blue streak. I felt so bad for him; we all said goodnight, and decided that Day 2 would be better...but we would have a lot of ground to make up.


Tally:

Rainstorms - 1
Snowstorms - 1
Hail storms - 1

California - 3, Walkers - 0

Feb 6, 2008

Day 2 - Move to Florida - How many blankets?

Day 2 got off to a late start - we went to bed at about 3am and got up at 7:30, on the road by 8am. We had 2 hours to make up from the day before, and we are again 5 hours behind schedule, so we are still about 7 hours behind. So we head down 95 from Needles to Blythe, to cross into Arizona.                                  

 

 

The day starts of wonderfully, we get into Arizona with no problems, the sun is shining and the roads are empty, things are great. Though we really wanted out of Arizona. We stopped for lunch at a truck stop, took a big table in the back where Kyle could run around, chew on his blanket, and not bug anyone. We met a nice truck driver who gave us a good tip on how we could bypass Phoenix by heading down highway 85 to I-8, which meets up again with I-10 southeast of Phoenix - I checked this on my AAA road atlas that Dad gave me and it looked like a good idea. So we did. Things were great; we missed all the traffic around Phoenix and were headed to Tucson. We caught a tiny bit of traffic there, but ran into the tail end of a wicked rainstorm, but had the brightest rainbow I have ever seen. I tried to take pictures of it, but it only turned out blah. 

 

After we got through Tucson, the sun was starting to set, but we needed a pit stop, so we stopped at a big gas station/mini-mart/shower-bathrooms, the whole nine yards for truckers. By the time we got out, the sun had completely gone down, and the wicked rainstorm caught up with us. We get back on the road and the rain turned to hail, which turned to snow...I thought, oh no, not again, but we were able to outrun the storm, so we only had to deal with it for about 15 minutes. Kyle started to get fussy in the back seat, and I am looking everywhere for his blanket.  I couldn't find it anywhere.  Then I remembered the last place I saw it was on the table a lunch where we stopped earlier in the day.  I found his Winnie the Pooh blanket, which was sloppy seconds, but comforted him enough so he could fall asleep.  We had an otherwise uneventful drive into New Mexico, or what I will refer to as "the land where weird vehicles tow weird things".

 

 

 We saw a caravan of beat-up Toyota pickups towing even more beat-up Toyota pickups, a Partridge family-type bus tow a beat-up Toyota, which was hauling a beat up refrigerator...you get the picture. 

 

We finally cross into Texas at about 10:30 pm, trying to make it to the El Paso Hyatt, where Div & Dimple got us the Friends&Family rate. We got there at about midnight, checked in, and got to sleep at about 12:30. We woke up at 7 and got up around 8am. I'm so freaking happy to be in Texas.

Tally:

Rainstorms -    2
Snowstorms -  2
Hail Storms -   2
Lost Blankets - 1

Feb 7, 2008

Day 3 - Made up time - remember the Alamo!!

I LOVE TEXAS !!!!! Our KILLER ROOM (Thanks Div & Dimple) overlooks the Alamo - it is our beautiful view from our window.

Tally:

Rainstorms - 2
Snowstorms - 2
Hail storms - 2
Lost Blankets - 2

Did I say I loved Texas??? Moving to Florida, part 3

Feb 8, 2008

Ok, so I know I said I loved Texas.  We made up so much time between El Paso and San Antonio, and only suffered one casualty, the Winnie the Pooh back up blanket.  Poor Kyle was stuck snuggling up with Stephen's very dirty sweatshirt that was worn for several days while we packed.  I guess it smelled like Dad, so it was OK until we could actually unpack boxes and find his 32 other blankets.  He's really not particular which blanket he has, just so long as there is something to snuggle up with and chew.  Our little Linus...he's too cute, and was a trooper on this journey, believe me.  So, we woke up in San Antonio super early, and we were all excited because this was pretty much our half way point.  We got out of the city without too much drama and headed for the border...but had to go through Houston - we weren't too worried about it because at the pace we were traveling we should've missed commute traffic.  But I did not factor in if there was road work to be done or any of those kinds of delays.  They had all kinds of roads torn up, detoured etc in the Houston area, and at one point we were stuck in traffic for about 2.5 hours, only about 5 miles from the Texas - Louisiana border.  Talk about major suckage.  

We FINALLY get to the Louisiana border and find the roads to be deplorable.  The roads were RUSTY.  That is the best way I can describe it.  I don't know if Louisiana has red mud (Like Prince Edward Island), but the roads were laid out in sections and kind-of "bondo'ed" together with asphalt.  (Since I worked for an asphalt refining company I will devote an entire blog to various road types at a later date).  Anyway, driving down these Louisiana highways, rusty and all, you could feel every bump with every section.  It sounded something like, "Screeeeeeeeeeech thump-thump, screeeeeeeeeeech thump-thump, screeeeeeeeeeech thump-thump."  Stephen gets on the walkie-talkie.  Those who know Stephen know he doesn't get too profane..."How the @$% long is this @$$% state?  I can't take the roads - they suck!!"  "Sorry babe.  Not too long, hopefully."  So we kept driving and making good time.  We decided to bypass New Orleans after talking to another very nice truck driver, and after Stephen's experience of going into downtown San Antonio with the big UHaul, we decided that New Orleans would be best left to a trip at another time.  We decided to go up Interstate 12 through Baton Rouge, and make camp for the night in Gulfport, Mississippi.  Baton Rouge was a nightmare - lots of freeways and lots of zippy traffic - not fun after 10 hours on the road (yes thank you HOUSTON for putting us 4 hours behind schedule).  We were dreadfully hungry, so we decided to stop in the town of WALKER, LA (appropos, n'est ce pas?) for a bite to eat.  

Here is what we will describe as the one moment in our marriage if Stephen ever laid the smack-down to me, it would have been here.  We get off the highway, and we see lots of fast food type places to eat.  I don't know what we want, and we are chit-chatting on the walkie talkies to try and find some place to eat.  On the left hand side of the road, I see a Taco Bell, but there is a big baptist church directly behind it.  My thought is we go into the Taco Bell parking lot, continue down to the baptist church, park the UHAUL there, and all hop into my car and we'll find something to eat...umm...yeah...except the road I see to the Baptist church is actually not part of the Taco Bell parking lot.  I get on the walkie talkie to Stephen to tell him not to turn in...too late...he is in the Taco Bell parking lot where the only way in and out is to go through the drive thru - 9 foot clearance...not happening.  Stephen gets out of the UHAUL, asks some people behind him if they would mind going around, that he has to get his butt out of the parking lot.  But he can only back straight up, which is very difficult to do with the Isuzu trailing behind at the angle he had to pull in to the parking lot.  Needless to say, after much arguing and negotiating and Louisiana people NOT being friendly, Stephen decides to go through the drive thru backwards and goes up onto the grass to avoid the 9 foot clearance.  He gets out of there and I'm sure calls me every name in the book and I see a WAL-MART across the street.  Knowing all people with RV's park there, I figure this is the place to park.  Stephen, not willing to trust my judgement at this point begins to have a discussion with me about how the UHAUL will not fit in the parking space that I want him to pull into.  I basically scream as loud as humanly possible "Do whatever the @$% you want to but I am parking my butt here and I'm going to get some dinner!"  Reluctantly, he pulls in beside me, barely fits into the parking space, we go have dinner, and drive another 2 hours to Gulfport, where we had the best night's sleep at the Holiday Inn that we have had the whole trip.  We were utterly exhausted.  And we're still married. 

Feb 9, 2008

Tampa -- the Final Frontier....

Gulfport....we love you. The alarm goes off at 6:30 AM; Stephen hits snooze. Alarm goes off again...Stephen re-sets, Martha verrrrrrrrrry tired...yes please, reset. We finally wake at about 8:30 and hit McDonald's (thanks Christy & Jim) on the way out of Dodge. Thankfully, this leg of the trip was uneventful. The sun was shining, no traffic jams, smooth sailing baby!! We drove through Alabama, and I was suddenly nostalgic and wondered how the Lampshire's were faring.

 I always loved John's parents; they were so good and kind to me and really nice people. We drove through Pensacola, and I pointed out to Stephen where the museum of aviation history was, but we didn't stop...had to keep plugging away. Our goal was to just get to I-75.

 At about 6:00 pm, we were really hungry and we noticed a sign for Denny's off the freeway just a few miles from the interchange. We stopped there, had a nice repast, and got onto I-75 just as it was hitting dusk. About an hour or so up the road, we hit a major rainstorm; it was coming down in buckets!! About fifteen minutes later, the rain stopped, and we made it all the way into Brandon (that is the city right outside of Tampa where we live) where the entire Myers clan met us at the Walgreens right off of Martin Luther King Jr Blvd. We drove the mighty beast into The Oaks, and the site of our loving friends' home never looked so good. Hugs and kisses all the way around, we had finally made it.

Tally:

Rainstorms - 3
Snowstorms - 2
Hail storms - 2
Lost Blankets - 2
Fights - TMTC

Things I learned:

If you ever get the chance to move your family across the united states in a U-Haul....don't do it.

Caffeine does have a laxative effect.

The asphalt in Central Texas is the prettiest I have ever seen.

Roadkill all looks the same after awhile, until you have seen a bloated beaver.

Where the Atchafalaya swamp is and the Sawanee River is.

The Alamo is not an impressive structure. It is TINY.

Stephen is an awesome driver.

When hail is blowing sideways, it looks remarkably like sand.

Tap Water tastes like sulfur in the south.

Truck stops have the best restrooms, and showers, and laundry facilities.

I actually can watch the movie Cars more than 50 times.

My son can travel well.

If I ever get the chance to move my family across country again in a U-Haul...I won't do it.

Rediscovered...

Happy Birthday to me. I'm trying to upload iTunes to the fab new iPod Nano Steve-O got me for the special day. I hate iTunes. Whenever a new product comes out, they force you to upload the latest version for compatibility purposes..blah blah blah. If you're anything like me, and your music collection is so vast that it has to be stored on an external terabyte server in the house, reloading music can be a biatch. And iTunes is so proprietary, it hates some of my music...i.e. wherethefuckdidyoudownloadthisfromyounaughtypirate. At any rate, as I have to manually configure all my songs and upload them bit by bit because there has not been an iPod yet invented that can hold the amount of music I own. So as I pick and choose some of the songs I want in my wheelhouse, to keep me from going postal at work, I find some little gems that I forgot I had. Sometimes you overlook an album that does not receive much critical acclaim or success. I try not to be so much of a music snob, but I like to read "Rolling Stone" and "Spin" magazines to keep abreast of what's going on in music, since I have found the land of musical banality here in the Tampa Bay Area. Sometimes I am forced to raid my own music collection for fear of Redneck Radio. Today I rediscovered the album "Underneath" by the Verve Pipe, which I have not listened to in quite some time. Though the song "Never Let You Down" peaked at number 20 on the Billboard Adult Top 40, the album did not reach much success or mass appeal. Maybe it's because it had the unfortunate release date of September 11, 2001, and was forever cursed. At any rate, some panned it as delivering sugary choruses that loop endlessly…well ok, I'll give them that, but that is not necessarily a bad thing when putting together a hit song. I think this album deserves a second look because it really plays to the bands strengths, which can be attributed to, in part, by the producer of the record, Adam Schlesinger, who you may know from Fountains of Wayne. There are many poignant melodies contained within this little gem, even if it is sandwiched between a more mainstream alternative sound, like the playful "I Want All of You," which has an almost Love & Rockets overtone to it, or "Miles Away," whose sugary choruses are pleasurable enough to give me cavities, but I don't care. My particular favorite, "Colorful" is a very simple, straightforward song that is a power ballad, that whenever I hear it, I cannot get the song out of my head for days. Some of you might remember this song is featured at the end of the movie, "Rock Star", with Mark Wahlberg and Jennifer Anniston, which is a sweet film, too. Do yourself a favor and check both out; you might be pleasantly surprised..

Repost from: Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Do you want to play a game?
Current mood: hungry
Category: Life

(If you would like to take part in this "game," follow the instructions at the end of this post.)

My childhood friend, and myspace/facebook/twitter buddy, Misha, has supplied me with 5 interview questions. Here they are, along with my responses:

1. What life lesson have you learned, even though it may have been difficult or painful, would you be willing to learn again because it changed your life so significantly?

I think my first marriage taught me a lot about life. I think I married John because I liked the idea of marriage and sharing my life with someone, and building a foundation ultimately for a family. I also think my hormones got the better of me rather than thinking long-term; I was completely swept up in the passion that I felt. That combined a clash with my mother about traditional conventions of living together vs. marriage (long story, maybe I'll blog it sometime), inexperience and the inability to assert my point of view effectively all led me to choose marriage at such an early age. That being said, it was the most expensive and valuable lesson I have ever learned. Foremost, knowing the signs of alcoholism, and actually learning to understanding the disease. Second, I learned how to find my voice. I am not the same person I was 20 years ago. Third, I learned that I am allowed to be loved the way I deserve to be loved, not having to accept a façade of what someone else purports it to be. Fourth, I learned about accountability and to accept responsibility for my part in the failure of my marriage. In addition, I also learned that having high expectations starts with the self and only then can extend outward. Above all, the most important lesson that I have learned is that forgiveness is the most difficult gift to give, but it is one that must be given as we are all fallible and that imperfection is unique to us all, and by letting go, we allow love to come in, encompass us and truly be ready to accept it.

2. If you could re-write The 10 Commandments what would they be?
1. Thou shall follow a personal code of ethics (this encompasses the big ones like killing, stealing, etc).
2. Thou shall treat all human beings as equal, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation or culture.
3. Thou shall covet thine own life and live every day to the fullest extent. Laugh and love without restraint and allow music to fill your heart.
4. Thou shall seek knowledge and truth allowing logic and reason to dictate your path, in an effort to better understand the universe, and by extension, thyself (No, I'm not a Vulcan).
5. Thou shall live in harmony with the earth and all its living things.
6. Thou shall leave valuable contributions for future generations.
7. Thou shall strive to be the person your dog thinks you are.
8. Thou shall practice responsible birth control.
9. Thou shall read the fucking manual before entering into an endeavor (aka RTFM in our household).
10. Thou shall visualize world peace.

3. List your own celebrity contract rider.

Martha's Celebrity Rider:

Chilled Fiji Water

Cooler with ice full of Caffeine Free Diet Dr. Pepper

Masseuse and equipment

Bouquet of fresh flowers, including lilies

Bose iPod compatible radio

2 Big Screen TVs

DVDs for me ~ comedies, action movies, chick flicks

PS3 & Xbox 360 & games for hubby

Big, firm pillows

Lavender oil and diffuser

Bottle of chilled Pino Grigio

Bottle of Shiraz, decanted, room temperature

Lots of candles

Fluffy robe

Supernanny Jo Frost & child accoutrements

Breakfast Options

Eggs Benedict

Large pitcher of Orange Juice, no pulp, low acid

Large pitcher of Ice Water

Meat for hubby

Snack Options

Fresh fruit consisting of grapes (white and red seedless), apples, oranges, cantaloupe and pineapple; assorted cheeses such as Gruyere or Swiss, Muenster, Cheddar

Sourdough bread & spinach dip

Tortilla chips, campfire roasted salsa (preferably Trader Joe's) & guacamole

English cucumbers, salami, & Rondele garlic & herb cheese

Meat for hubby

Dinner Options

Chicken Kiev or Pork tenderloin w/balsamic-red wine reduction

Steamed broccoli with lemon, garlic and butter

Salad, consisting of:

Romaine & Spring mix yuppie greens

Grape tomatoes

English cucumbers

Red onion

Balsamic vinaigrette dressing

Meat for hubby

4. Here is a link for some examples:

http://www. thesmokinggun. com/backstagetour/index. html



5. What is your personal Mission Statement or Life Manifesto? I live my life with as much emotional balance as possible; hence my quest for Peace, in all forms. My manifesto would look something like the following lines from The Peace Book: 108 Simple Ways to Create a More Peaceful World: Inner peace is about connection with our true and natural self and a sense of being part of something larger. This connection gives rise to serenity, balance, and a feeling of well-being. Peace with others is about our connection with the open heart, through which we remember our shared humanness. This brings us to the practice of conflict resolution, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Peace in our communities and in the world requires a connection to respect for our multiple differences, and for the right of all people to justice, freedom, and dignity. This leads to trust, community, and co-existence.

To play along, please follow these instructions:

1. Leave me a comment saying "interview me."

2. I will respond by e-mailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.

3. You will update your blog (so you have to have a blog) with a post containing your answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them 5 questions.

Peace,

Martha

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

I am officially "over 40." On October 4, I turned 41 years old. Now, I don't have anything against being in the "over 40" crowd, except this is truly the first year I have ever felt my age. Most of the time I hover around in the range of a twenty-something in my head, and only attempt to be adult-like in a work-type situation (and even then, on certain days, not-so-much). That being said, I thought I would share some interesting trivia about my birthday.

Fun Facts: October 4, 1968

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The number one song on the day I was born was "Hey Jude" by the Beatles.

Janis Joplin appeared on Hollywood Palace TV show.

One dozen eggs cost 53 cents.

Luis Walter Alvarez won the Nobel Prize for his work in elementary particle physics.

My date of conception was on or about 12 January 1968 which was a Friday.

I was born on a Friday under the astrological sign Libra.

My fortune cookie reads:

None of the secrets of success will work unless you do.

Life Path Number:

"Mine goes to eleven."

As the first of the Master Numbers, I am the Master Student, the idealist who is on a quest for meaning. A seeker of truth, I am willing to jump into any class, teaching, or walk of life that offers potential hope and insight. Others look to me for guidance and I am a natural instructor. There are times when my enthusiasm borders on fanaticism and becomes tiring, but listening to my keen intuition can thwart problems in this area. The life I lead will be the ultimate teaching you impart to the world.

Number 11 also reduces to a number 2, and 11s must learn the lessons of cooperation before they can serve as a voice of inspiration for others. It is the special task of 11s to keep the dreams, visions, and hopes of others alive.

Life Path Compatibility:
I am most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.
I should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 6.
I may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.
I am least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7.

The Julian calendar date of my birth is 2440133.5. Under the Julian calendar, 19 years were assumed to be exactly an integral number of synodic months, and the following relationship
exists between the Golden Number and the Epact:

Epact = (11 * (GoldenNumber-1)) mod 30

The golden number for 1968 is 12.
The epact number for 1968 is 0.

The year 1968 was a leap year.

My birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 1/30/1968 and ending 2/16/1969.
I was born in the Chinese year of the Monkey (my mom always used to call me "monkey-marie" because I was always climbing trees).

My Native American Zodiac sign is Raven.

My plant is Ivy.

I was born in the Egyptian month of Choiach, the fourth month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).

My date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 12 Tishri 5729.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of my birthday is 12.17.15.2.9 which is
12 baktun 17 katun 15 tun 2 uinal 9 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of my birth is Friday, 11 Rajab 1388 (1388-7-11).

The date of Easter on my birth year was Sunday, 14 April 1968.
The date of Orthodox Easter on my birth year was Sunday, 21 April 1968.

The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on my birth year was Wednesday 28 February 1968.

The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of my birth was Sunday 2 June 1968.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of my birth was Sunday 9 June 1968.

The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of my birth was Monday, 23 September 1968.

The date of Passover in the year of my birth was Saturday, 13 April 1968.

The date of Mardi Gras on my birth year was Tuesday 27 February 1968.